


He hadn't wanted to wake up.

by Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire



Category: dan and phil
Genre: Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Idk what else I can put without giving it away, M/M, Not gonna tell you why though, Possible major plot twist ;), Sad and Beautiful, possible trigger warning, sad warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 15:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9331850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire/pseuds/Allamazingfandomsarenotonfire
Summary: "Come on, Dan!" Phil giggled as he grabbed his lovers hand, pulling him through the field."Phiiiil! You know I have allergies!"Phil turned back around and planted a kiss on Dan's nose."Pleeaaase?""Oh, alright. Only because I love you."





	

This felt like a dejá vu, probably because Phil dragged him here every once in a while to pick flowers, mess around, and take some plants home to add to his collection.

 

"Come on, Dan!" Phil giggled as he grabbed his lovers hand, pulling him through the field.

"Phiiiil! You know I have allergies!"

Phil turned back around and planted a kiss on Dan's nose.

"Pleeaaase?"

"Oh, alright. Only because I love you."

With that, Phil's eyes lit up like a match in a dark room. 

He picked a purple wild flower and stuck it behind his ear, picking a blue one and placing it behind Dan's. 

"You're beautiful, Phil. You know that?" 

Phil blushed and shyed away, only to have Dan tilt his chin up and look into his beautiful, strangely faded sea blue orbs. 

"I love you." He brushed his lips against Phils, but pushed slightly harder when he didn't feel them against his own. 

"I love you, too." Phil smiled widely, skipping adorably around the endless field of sweet-smelling velvet. 

This had definitely happened before.

"Come help me pick some flowers, Dan!"

Dan couldn't say no to Phil, he ignored his potential allergies, and joined him. 

When he bent down to pick a flower that, though it wasn't as beautiful, reminded him of Phil's eyes, his boyfriend tackled him playfully. They fell into a patch of velvety flowers, Phil supporting his weight on his arms as he lingered above his laughing boyfriend.

"Phil I'm gonna get my jumper dirty!" He giggled and set his hand on Phil's chest. He looked up at him, admiring his gorgeous, slightly fuzzy features, before he grabbed his shirt and pulled him down into a passionate kiss. 

He still couldn't feel it, he wanted to, but he just couldn't. 

Maybe his lips were dry. 

Phil rolled off and intertwined his fingers in Dan's, squinting up at the brightly lit sky. 

It should be warmer, he should be feeling his symptoms by now, but maybe Dan was lucky this time. 

"I really love you, Dan. Always remember that. Remember me."

"I will, darling. I love you, too."

They looked at each other in sync, smiling like idiots, but extremely happy. 

"Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's get a dog."

"Really???"

"Yeah. He can be Mr. Howelter the second." He giggled, smiling wider (if that's even possible) when he remembered when Dil had his baby. 

He wanted that one day. 

"Maybe he could be Mr. Howell the third instead."

Phil took a minute to process what Dan said and shot a wide eyed look, his face flushing.

"And you could be the second?"

Phil blushed profusely and shook with delight.

"Yes! I'd love to be Mr. Howell!" He numbly kissed him again, smiling into it in realization of what had just happened.

They laid back again, closer, then Dan broke the silence after several minutes.

"You know, you can have my cereal anytime you want it, right?"

Phil smiled in reply. 

"I want to give you everything."

 

 

_Buzz_

"What?"

_Buzz_

"Phil? I can't understand-"

_Buzz_

Everything began to fade. 

Phil's eyes. 

The sky. 

The flowers.

He panicked, reaching for Phil- before he jumped awake. 

He was in Phil's bed, alone.

He reached for his buzzing phone, rubbing his soaked, puffy eyes, and opened his messages. 

There were three from PJ.

_"Dan? Are you awake?"_

_"You should be. Come on man, it's three in the afternoon."_

_"Dan, please answer. Everyone's worried about you. No one has seen you since the funeral, weeks ago. He made his decision, it was painful for us all, and I'm so sorry, I really am, but you have to try to heal. Let us help you. Please answer."_

Dan sighed and deleted his messages, like always, and rolled back over in Phil's sheets. He held his lovers pillow close, the smell of him fading slowly, just like his image and the feeling of his skin. He felt for the ring on his left ring finger, just to make sure it was still there. 

It felt like when Phil killed himself that day, he killed Dan, too. Emotionally, physically, in every way, he was dead.

Dan sobbed quietly, so broken and tired as he tried desperately to rejoin Phil in his dreams again.

He hadn't wanted to wake up. 

 

He never wanted to again.


End file.
